Game Over

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
hypereactive
charlataninred

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

meraarts

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

eater-of-hopes-and-dreams

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

blitzlowin

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

  1. The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)
  2. The Monster of Sentan
  3. The Witch’s Cat
  4. Raise Both Children
  5. Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)
  6. Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)
  7. My Arch Nemesis Cynthia
  8. Pirates and Mermaid
  9. Eindred and the Witch
  10. The Demon King
  11. The Cornerwitch
  12. Grandmother Beetroot
  13. Apocalypse Daycare Worker
  14. Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon
  15. New Year Saga
  16. A Story About Changelings
  17. Ranger in the King’s Forest
  18. The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit
  19. Goblin Men (Canines)
charlataninred

I am in love with you /p

the-thread-of-the-infinite

What about the one with the princess locked in a tower learning to become a wizard? That’s lived in my mind for years and I haven’t seen it in a long time

death-of-the-endless


Oh, love that story, adding it to the list:
20. Princess Talia
and adding a few more contenders
21. Thyme
22. The Monster under the Bed
23. A Meaningful Death
24. Humans are unstoppable…until they aren’t
25. The Monster under the Fridge
26. Antler Guy
27. Cleric slamming healing spells

death-of-the-endless

Adding a few more I remembered: 
28. The Frog and the Scorpion
29. HSTHETE
30. The First Witch in the World
31. Imagine that Oceans were replaced by Forests 
32. A Faerie taking a Name 
33. The Dragon on the Farm 
34. Synovus & Menace 
35. Raising the Anti-Christ 
36. Aliens vs. Flora & Fauna of Earth (pretty sure there are even more additions to the original post but I had this one saved) 
37. Doctors without Borders…in Space! 
38. The Villain-Wrangler 
39. The Last Contact 
40. The 100 Parent-Point Children 
41. And the Heavens Wept 
42. The Night Gentleman 
43. The Serpent God and their Priestess 

knottahooker

44. No One Showed Up for the Last Storytime

morcai

45. A Guide for Young Ladies Entering the Service of the Faries

You can’t get this one on Tumblr anymore, but it started here and I think about it every damn day

Pinned Post
cryptotheism
cryptotheism

The city of Isin is not actually the city of Isin. Technically, it's the city of New New New Isin. That was the trouble with Isin. It was all wrapped up in itself. Like fabric around a nun, or a baby, or a whore.

People had been there, as in the physical location, for longer than history could be expected to remember. People have been in Isin since the word "people" meant something very different.

The first city called Isin was dragged kicking and screaming into the world by Heralds of the Church of the Third Sphere. A fourth-era religious order known for staunch orthodoxy and insufferable smugness. A cult whose grandest miracle was being almost universally despised by anyone who heard their sermons. Isin to them was a Good Rock. A polite term for "delusional pipe dream about the future City of God."

And it was a rock, a miraculously barren rock in the midst of a freezing swamp that only seemed to produce the sort of wildlife that stings and gnashes. Kunaabe oral history does seem to know of the location, but also seems to assume the foolishness of anyone attempted to actually travel there. This did nothing to deter the Church of the Third Sphere, as records indicate they were not aware of Kunaabe presence in the area.

The first 400 years of Isin's history were typical of other Good Rocks: regular periods of plague, mass starvation, and hyper-niche religious conflict boueyed by the occasional successful interaction with nearby Kunaabe and Baquari communities, at which point the enterprising trader would be ritually banished for speaking to hererical, racially impure outsiders.

Significant improvements were made to Isin after the local potentate promised that the Third Sphere would appear in the sky that spring. After the date passed, and no celestial body appeared to unite the Sun and Moon, the potentate was ritually burned to death, and his body was cast into Isin's only source of fresh drinking water. The fervent believers promptly died of several drinking-water related things at once. Those with a lick of sense brushed up on their Kunaabe and got busy creating a new sub-ethnicity, leaving Isin abandoned.

A decade passed. And much like the local chitin eel population grinding the corpse of the arch-astrologer into algae food, Isin soon became host to a new, beautiful population: Good, honest, criminals.

-- from An Addicts History of New Babel, by Ord Mornie

cryptotheism

The tungsten revolution hit Isin like a brick to the face. A peasantry equipped with full exo-rigs could do the work of five men. Previously unliveable toxic swampland was cultivated into food-rich unliveable toxic swampland. Times were fat and happy. The people who worked in the fields could afford a second shirt, and the squabbling gangs of guild leaders and ex-bandit warlords could now throw the peasants in prison for failing to call them "Your Lordship".

The tungsten revolution brought changes. Changes chiefly in the form of exo-rigged cutting edges that tear through fifth-era armor like an orgasm through a wake. So, in a feat rarely seen among kings and politicians, the nobility thought about the future.

Tearing other nobles into little bits? That was all well and good. Gentleman's work. Telling peasants to tear each other into little bits? That was also well and good. A chief duty of every sensible noble. But peasants tearing nobles into little bits? That would be upsetting.

It was the tungsten revolution that prompted the newly-minted nobles to stop killing each other long enough to form the first Concourse of Five Houses. It was from this orgy of nepotism (in the name of peace of course) that the state of New Babel was born.

And it is here, with the bandit warlords who had the good sense to build a tungsten refinery, that we find the genesis of Isin's very own nobles. The Honorable and Noble House Maciae. Who are, legally speaking, not slavers.

-- An Addict's History of New Babel, by Ord Mornie

thetravelerwrites

if you’ve never seen one before

bitterfucked

deer are smaller than you think

raccoons are bigger than you think

bears are smaller than you think but you were pretty close

otters are bigger than you think no even bigger than that

wolves are bigger than you think

wild cats are smaller than you think but hopefully you’ll never see one

chipmunks are smaller than you think

so are mice but you’ve seen a mouse right

you were right about the size of moose, mostly

pigs are bigger than you think

coyotes are that size

so are foxes

woops bears are bigger than you think but only that one type

this is an informational post about mammals if you know more please do tell

revolutionarygays

buffalo are bigger than you’ve ever even imagined. you’ve never seen anything that big in your life i promise

leafcrunch

i support this post except you have no idea how big are moose

tramampoline

moose are fucked up big and nothing will ever prepare you for it

thegreenwolf

image
rosebuncat

What??? The fuck????

textsfromstarfleet
rockpapertheodore

Please imagine some warrior culture (e.g. Klingons) getting super into video game esports in a relatively war-less setting and just getting insane about it

rockpapertheodore

Like everyone at first thinks "haha, they probably don't understand video games because they're a bunch of bloodthirsty brutes" and it's a fuckin Space Orc Sweep at the Space Esports Tournament. Orc Devin, a scrawny nerd of an orc, gets absolutely HOISTED by his yoked-to-the-nines parents who are just so proud that their weakest son is their most victorious warrior. His fighting is done with more finesse, battling with his hands, mind, and eyes instead of RIPPLING BICEPS and POWERFUL GUTS and BARREL-CRUSHING THIGHS, but he battles nonetheless. His space hometown honors him with his own sword and a plaque. They rent out a space billboard bragging about how Orc Devin kicked everyone's asses and was the Most Badass Motherfucker in this cool new digital warfare they are now starting to get probably too-into as a culture.

stealing-your-wife

WHERE NATURE DID NOT FAVOUR HIM AT BIRTH, HE SOUGHT OUT BATTLE NONETHELESS.

CRUSHING NOT THE BODIES OF HIS OPPONENTS, BUT THEIR VERY MINDS AND SPIRITS.

LIMITED NOT BY THE REACH OF A SWORD, HIS CONQUESTS AND VICTORIES SPAN THE UNIVERSE.

A NOBLE WARRIOR INDEED.

wilwheaton
wilwheaton

“Donald Trump’s mental health and diseased mind are not likely to improve, given the pressures he now faces. And as goes Trump, so goes the Republican Party, the MAGA cult and the larger white right. In total, Donald Trump’s poor mental health and aberrant behavior amount to a political, social and legal crisis for America and the world. He must be defeated at the polls and prosecuted in the courts, but even that will not be enough.”

— Our collective malady: Donald Trump’s mental health crisis is America’s problem

Source: salon.com